i.d

I gotta thank my boyz this year. For some reason that although our faith is what brings us together, it seems that it is our anger and dissapointment at UT that somehow strengthens our bonds. I don't know how nor understand why, but when one of us falls it seems that all of us together somehow fall together simultaneously. It's kinda like a really messed up dominoes effect. But either way, when i do fall it doesn't suck that bad when we're all kinda experiencing the same thing. As if we all know how that feels and there's that underlying sense of understanding and support. This brings me to another conclusion, if i were to hang out wit smarter kids, would that also by relation make me smarter as well? hmmm. Regardless, i'm definitely glad to be apart of this messed up brotherhood this year.

So i came across this letter i sent to an old friend a long time ago. Right now our relationship is kinda shaky and when i was reading the one that i sent, what i previously said is exactly the same way that feel right now with that person. I always strive to change, to grow yet why is that im back to where i was a year ago. How is that through everything that we've gone through, that ive gone through, back to where i was. Stagnated. And its not only in relationships that i seem to have problems, but also in school and in life in general. I keep coming across the same kinda problems that im supposed to have moved on from. I mean, if I'm not that man that I was yesterday and that I've learned from my mistakes, why is it that they keep resurfacing? I dont know. I really have thought about this question, and it's really angered me because i feel like i'm still that kid that i was a long time ago. But then i thought. If we are supposed to learn from our mistakes and to grow from them, it's not that we are able to dodge these problems but its possible that we're supposed to learn in dealing with them. Somehow grow stronger with each new day we face, and also become more mature in our relationships, in school and in life. Where although the old keeps running to meet wit the present, we can see each day as a new one and focus on what ahead, while reminded of what we've gone through in past as it we take that to pave our future.